We all know of people who are routinely described as their own worst enemy, but how many of us indulge in such self-defeating behaviour ourselves?

Many of these behaviours are quite addictive by nature and we are often consciously unaware that we are indulging such things until we reflect back on the situations, perhaps wondering why we allowed ourselves to get dragged into these self defeating situations in the first place.

Perhaps an example would make this clearer. We have all experienced anger and frustration when faced with a careless motorist cutting us up or beeping without good reason. We allow their errors and misjudgements to annoy us to such an extent that we can carry that annoyance with us for several miles afterwards, sometimes even effecting our own judgement consequently.

What has occurred in such a situation is that the stress hormone Cortisol has been released and has affected our subsequent state of mind. This normally is something that can be employed usefully by the sympathetic nervous system but when it occurs too regularly, and especially when there is little or nothing we can physically do to correct the situation, the result is stress. ( if there is no release available )

The solution is, on one level, relatively simple. In practice though, it can be very difficult. It begins with a degree of self-awareness - you have to realise that it is your response to the situation rather than the situation itself that causes you stress.

One has to address one's own shortcomings rather than projecting the source of the problem onto events on the outside. The first gives you the possibility of controlling the situation, the second leaves you as a victim of every unpleasant circumstance.

As a very wise man once said: You are not punished for your anger, you are punished by your anger!

Thats an interesting topic George. I have seen dogs fighting ferociously and then the moment it is over, they carry on playing with their owners as if nothing has happened. Compare that scenario to a human in the same situation and it would be likely that they would carry that stress around with them for hours or even days afterwards, in extreme cases for much longer. Admittley there are dogs who have been mistreated for extended periods and exhibit deep trauma from it by for example fearing men ( because some man used to beat them )but generally they seem to deal with minor stress much better than humans do. As humans, the general opinion is that we are supposed to be more intelligent than other animals, but in the ways of releasing our stress it would seem we are less intelligent than dogs and most other animals too. Now this point has been raised and seems to be something a human could improve upon, what would you consider is the reason for this difference and the path of action to let go of those daily stresses faster? It might be valid that in a documentary I once saw, they stated that humans are the only form of animal that have self awareness. This could be a relevant difference perhaps?

Interesting article GB5, but how do you suggest retraining our brains to deal with stressful situations differently? Isnt this kind of thing just hard wired into us?